You are my reason
I hold my breath to hear the sound again. I look out into a pitch-black room and distinguish the window frames on the wall in front of me from the small night light on the floor behind the sofa cushion. Close your eyes softly and listen again. Breathe as quietly as I can myself to hear your breaths. My beloved daughters. Far away in the land where all beautiful dreams are allowed to take place you are, and where my love protects you from all evil. I whisper first to my right and then to my left that I love you. Maybe you will hear me in your dream. Whispering that you are the most beautiful thing I can ever rest my eyes on. So beautiful and utterly perfect. Just as you are, never in measure of what you do or don’t do.
Smooth and serene features in your night-shadowed faces that surround me with security in my own anxiety. The concerns of motherhood, trying to equip you for a world that thinks so much about who you should be and how you should live your lives. But my motherly power will continue to sound louder, I promise myself there in the dark. Promise to be on the front line for you until you have the courage to stand there yourself. Anchored and proud. Proud to love who you want and to be exactly who you want to be here, your time on earth.
Our borrowed time spent so much on trying to fit in instead of enjoying the freedom of everything being possible and allowed. That we are sufficient from the day we take our first breath to the day we take our last. That in a utopia it is self-evident that all people are seen, acknowledged and have a sense of belonging.
I will keep looking for words, words that can one day describe what my inner self creates when I am close to you. Until then, I will keep you close, so that my heartbeat becomes your rhythm when you need it. Always vigilant, always supportive, always with unconditional love and thousands of laughs.
My beloved daughters – You are my reason. My motivation for wanting to contribute to a better and kinder world. Every day.
